So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
