First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
