DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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