I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
