gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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