this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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