They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
