There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
