i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
