Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
