On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
