The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
