Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
