Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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