dude i'm inner monologue high
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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