using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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