Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I understand Curling. That high.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
