I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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