I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
