also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
