Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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