I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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