They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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