Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
This is my gift to your gina
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
