are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
