but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
