I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
