well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
