I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
