dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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