found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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