Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
