Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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