I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
