My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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