I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
