we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
