Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize