she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
