I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
