ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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