.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
