you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The Olympian is in my bed
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize