idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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