You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
