Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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