My liver just broke up with me...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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