You smell like a Billy Joel song
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
