I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
