I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
