I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
