i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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