If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
