We're facebook friends in real life
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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