Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
