She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
