yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
bring money and cleavage
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
