I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Success! We fucked roommates!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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