so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
it's like heaven, but drunker
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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