wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
