scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Randomize
