no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
